THE LOVE WE DON’T WANT

Sitting under our olive tree in the contrast of sharp light from a CA evening sunset, and the looming night behind it, the change of season is making a striking debut. Taken over by nature, I am bewildered by the power of what has been delivering lessons upon lessons to me, and to some of you whom I have worked with in the past several months. I can only call it safely, “the love we don’t want.” If the season change is whispering an urgency in your bones, like it is mine, may this post serve the part of you that is called to move but hasn’t, the part of you that wants to grow but refuses, the Love inside you that is begging you to swing the doors open and show your power in service, expression and connection.

Coming into 2017 it was clear that we would have gentle support in the way of answering the callings of our soul, the stirring in our hearts, the desire built into our spiritual essence. It only asked us to take baby steps, this support did not elaborate. Now I understand why. If this energy that is assisting us, and moving us revealed itself, and showed me the way it would arise within our field of awareness, I would have been a bit more reluctant to sing the praises of a lighter 2017. In fact for many of us, this year has been more challenging than ever, in a deeply personal, internal way.

On a conscious level, most of us are able to profess what we want, what we deeply desire, the unfolding we know is coming that lies close to our hearts. We are even willing to walk toward it. However, on a deeper, often unconscious level, there are forces within that enclose us, separate us from the Love (support, relationship, intimacy, vulnerability, creativity, inspiration, joy, connection, opportunity etc.) that is seeking to meet us.

I’ll give you a quick personal example. I know I am meant to bring forth a specific creative offering to the world. I dream about it, I noodle and doodle about it. I talk about it. I know it will help people. But I DO NOTHING to bring it to the world. I blame the lack of connected effort on being busy, having no time, disconnection, lack of detailed inspiration. Again, I am doing nothing to meet it at the table; I am not showing up for it. And, if I am really honest, I can see that I am actually holding it away from myself.

Comparing, complaining, shoving it to the back burner, turning away in fear, avoiding, and saying simply, “You’ll have to wait until I am ready.” Which is a lie, because I know that I am ready, and it is ready, and there are people waiting for it. And that is effectively saying, “No thank you DIVINE LOVE, I am not interested in engaging with you at this time.”

Why?

Why am I resisting?

Why don’t I want this Love?

Because it is damn powerful. It is the most powerful.

And powerful is scary: it means exposure, it means taking a risk, it means putting myself out there, it means saying yes, it means caving to the softer me, it means letting go of what was, it means outright vulnerability and the growth that would come with the experience of birthing it into the world. So, how can I shift this and meet the Love: the gorgeous, creative, expansive, inspired, Love that is here to meet me right now?

Let’s explore that together>>>

How to meet the Love (and connection) that you are unconsciously resisting on the dance floor with an open heart:

Bring your resistance into your awareness.
Become aware of the ways in which you resist what you know you need to do, the person you know you’re meant to be, the adventures you’re meant to have, the growth you’re meant to experience. If you tend to be overprotective of your heart, if you operate from your wounds (we all do this sometimes), if you doubt your intuition, if you are trying to stuff your soul in your mind’s winter closet, if you are coping by using distractions or addictions, if you are self-sabotaging, if you are pre-occupied with someone else’s path and choices instead of your own, if you are putting yourself last, then you are suffering-even if it is comfortable suffering. And if you’re reading this, then you know that you have free will and choice in this matter. You can choose differently, you can choose Love.

If you desire an intimate relationship, stop pushing away the ones who love you most. If it is recognition of your truth, don’t squash your own light or squirm out of the opportunity to share your heart’s voice. If it is strength you’re seeking stop looking in the mirror at your weaknesses. If you want connection with the Divine and to ultimately be aligned with your truest self on your soul path, stop telling people you’re lost and asking influences outside of yourself for the directions. If you have something to bring to the table, but you’re not…

Have the courage to admit what you truly want…and why you are here.
And remind yourself (especially the risk-averse wallflower/ashamed/mortal/scared part of you that would happily resist being the powerful vessel you are meant to be) every damn day of your Truth. Because this is what you know for sure, so own it.

Be mindful of your complaints.
Switch the narrative to what you DO want rather than what you don’t. Shift to a positive mindset, make the choice to raise your vibration and attract more positivity into your experience just by a sheer shift in focus. This will also help you when challenges do arise to be more mindfully solution-oriented versus adding to the pile of negative complaints.

Check into your story and identity attachments.
Does the story you are reiterating through your experience and telling yourself over and over match what you most desire? If not, change the story. Look for what you are happy about, what is working, and where love is showing up in your life. Spend time in gratitude. See the discord between who your ego wants you to remain stuck in, (because it is comfy, even if it hurts) versus the one inside who knows you are meant to rise out of the circumstances that feel like shackles. Are you the wounded healer, the starving artist, the martyr? Are you always getting rejected, are you consistently misunderstood or lonely or things just never work out for you? This is often pain we are choosing to write into our story for as long as we need it in order to learn from it. But we can choose differently.

Find time for self-care and creativity.
Talk to your curiosities and interact with your inspiration, be devoted to learning from them. Be present, rather than bringing in the definitions and projections from the past about anything, see everything as if it is new, a gift for you right now, today in this moment. Treat it differently; treat it like it is divine.

Commit to your spiritual practice, meditation and movement.
The single most powerful thing you can do when you feel disconnected or powerless or you know you’re holding your hand up and shielding yourself from Love is to re-commit to your spiritual practice, to meditation and to moving your body. All of these things are safe places if you choose for them to be. Places you can choose to be vulnerable, available, open-hearted and where you can let your guard down. From a place of spiritual connection, you are more likely to say yes to Love, to let it in, to allow what it has in store for you.

…

While the remainder of 2017 is certainly geared toward the support of new ideas, projects, concepts, movements, collaboration and expansion, it is also gently supporting our journey to becoming more whole, wise, healed, loving people. Our own inner light is not willing to be stifled, our butterfly wings tied down, our angelic nature turned away from. So working this process is vital to our overall wellness, because if we continue to resist, it will hurt. (Those of us that are resisting already know this.)

I need to do this too. In every session with a client, I learn something I need to be doing too, and every time I write, I find an answer I am seeking, and each time I challenge this community, I am walking the challenge too. This is how I know I am right where I need to be.

I’m SO ready to show up and receive this Love, are you? Tell me about your experience and let me know how I can support you. As always, listen to your heart and trust your intuition.

In Light,
Jenna